Two more weeks and we're done? That's what someone thinks...no offense but as long as we're in this career path, we will never reach the end. (I'm talking about the minor projects and portfolio review.)

It's a constant learning process which means we can never rest on our laurels. If we do that, inevitably we'll become obsolete and discarded. So I'm not thinking of two weeks ahead. Instead we should think further, possibly ten or twenty years in the future. What's going to be big then? Come on...level with me, do you think you're A grades will reflect your capabilities. It's such a farce.

Do you really want to estimate your potential on a scale of A-F? I'll tell you the worst kept secret in the world...no one can make you feel worthless except for yourself. Confidence, self-esteem that'll come in handy when your tutors, clients etc. reject your art, design and illustrations.

I feel anger subsiding in me. It's fuels the drive to raise my performance. I can finally feel the passion stirring in me. It took nearly 23 years for me to realise it and it feels incredible.

I don't want to be better than everyone else. No...that's not what the anger is telling me. It is telling me what I do right now is making me happy. And that was what I wanted all along.

In ten or twenty years, I want to be happy. That is my mission. Two more weeks - IMHO, is just another milestone.

Your results:
You are Robin

Robin 75% Superman 70% Green Lantern 70% Spider-Man 65% The Flash 65% Supergirl 53% Batman 50% Hulk 45% Catwoman 30% Iron Man 30% Wonder Woman 28%

Young and acrobatic. You don't mind stepping aside to give someone else glory.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

I can't believe that I'm a Robin. He doesn't wear pants for god's sake.

Okay I know this seems like a frivolous topic considering the previous was about Armageddon and all. However I would like to dedicate this post to a four letter word called lust (not that other four letter word which I’m sure some of you had in mind)

Specifically the theme will center on my lusts and forgo yours because I would like to bring attention to an incident where an acquaintance once asked, “Who do you think is the sexiest female actor?”

I couldn’t answer him then and there. How could you expect such a complicated issue to be resolved in one afternoon like that? That was uncalled for. It takes a serious amount of debate and research to give an absolute exact answer. (coughs * BS*)

And here it is - this is my answer! Drum rolls if you please:

Tara Reid

She’s so hot, she just oozes sexiness. Aaaaahh! This is me losing my mind. Have you seen her in Scrubs or American Pie? She’s just sizzling. She might be one of the reasons I was born a man. Well…you figure that out.

She has such a perfect smile too. OMG it’s sexy as hell.

Ahem (coughs) well now that I’ve let that out of my closet. I shall retreat to my normal inhibited self censured lifestyle. Hooray.

Imagine a global disaster.

Imagine the impact it will have on your life and those that you love and cherish.

Then realise it might come true in 2010, 2011 or 2012.

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10mar_stormwarning.htm

There might be an intense solar storm occuring very soon in the next decade. If it exceeds the 1859 (Sep 1) solar flare, the first ever recorded in history; The devastation will leave millions - if not billions dead.

And survivors will slowly perish because diseases such as typhoid, hepatitis etc will spread like wildfire in our decimated population. The modern world will come to a standstill. It might take years to recover.

This isn't science fiction. The perfect space storm is real.

It's funny.

What is, you're asking?

That one day you could just fall out of love. Just like that.

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My heart doesn't beat to her name anymore...that's how I knew.

Okay, today I'm going to set aside my dilemma in school and talk about my crappy single life. I know - sounds like a snoozefest.

Here's the thing : What is the ultimate sacrifice that a person can give to a person he loves?

I've come to the realisation of this answer many years ago. Through the amalagation of experiences (mine or friends'), mushy love tunes in addtion to fortune cookies, etc. It's a messy concoction - I know.

The answer is, (don't hold your breath) is letting GO. It's hard isn't it? Especially when you're completely inspid at flirting, charming and dating. You're otherwise known as the affable but pitiful 'Hopeless Romantic'.

Your life my friend, sucks like a sponge. Oh GAWD you look painfully ordinary...while girls are melting over dreamy idols and guys drooling over gorgeous pin up dolls - life is unfair. Has been for the longest of time. Get in line if you want to beat the shit out of life. (you realise the irony don't you?).

Hey, keep your chin up. Because I know, even if no one is interested - doesn't mean that life is over. Well - not yet, look out for the horsemen. In my entire life I've had misses all around. Not once on the targetboard. It hurts to admit it too. Fortunately I'm numb to the pain (guffaws...no I'm not. Get off my case!).

If you are that 'Hopeless Romantic', you have a friend in me. And sometimes you realise that love extends to friendship and this is something that you can't let go. Trust me.

Your Friend
Hisyam

I'm so sorry. I don't know whether I can contribute to my team anymore. I feel scared. I went to see the doctor on Monday and he diagnosed me with depression. I wished he had prescribed me those anti-depressants. I think I could've used them.

I don't know how my mental faculties have managed to slide into such pathetic cowardice. It's just a project. I know that but somehow I am losing my mind. I am afraid of today because at 8 I shall have to go to school again. I have to resume work. But inside I am deathly afraid. Of what exactly - I am uncertain.

I need counselling. But I do not have time for this. I have to pick up where I left off and continue the project. If I do become insane or unstable I hope it doesn't affect my family or friends. Perhaps I will cease to think normally. Hopefully this entry will remind me that I once had logic and sense.

There's only 2 weeks left, please...do not unravel until the project is over. It's 4am I should go to sleep. Maybe I should eat my sleeping pills.

Breath Of Fresh Air

I'm having a rought time with my final year project. I feel the same ammount of pressure I had years ago when I knew I was going to do badly for my A Levels exam. I'm not sure whether I can manage to finish this project without cracking up. It's immensely difficult to do something when you have a past that hangs over you like a deadweight.


Have you ever had a whiff of air after it rains? I wish I could keep it with me forever because it helps calm me even in the most dire of situations. Nothing beats that sort of freshness. Well...hahaha I may change my mind in the future.